Updated: Sep 29, 2021
Saying that I am busy is nothing but a defense mechanism to manage insecurity.
I am busy! Oh, am I! Or am I trapped in time awareness?
Summer is setting in. Mark (name changed) lives alone in his 1 room house. He gets up looking at the morning sun and as his daily routine, he prepares his mind to face challenges.
Sun brightness that used to give him hope and healing in winters now stands in front of him as a mighty giant in summers whose heat is getting ready to sap Mark’s energy.
Mark is tired and low as he is without any stable work for more than 5 years now. He offers his routine prayers in solitude and gets ready to go out and try his luck in the world. With a sad heart, he prepares his breakfast and cries whilst having it.
He holds back his tears, keeps his water bottle and something to eat, picks his bag, and walks out. Whilst walking – he is thinking about whom to contact and what to do.
Mark really feels that there is one person (Arian – name changed) who if wants to help can help. 4 years back through a common friend, Mark and Arian met each other at the art exhibition at India Habitat Centre, Delhi.
At the exhibition introduction, Arian learned of Mark’s planning capabilities. He asked Mark’s immediate one hour’s time for one project that Arian bagged from the Indian state government. The same evening Mark had one interview and also had to visit the hospital to see one of his ailing friends.
Mark knew that he wouldn’t get anything out of the help. Still, he agreed to give his time.
Arian now runs a 65 people strong engineering consulting firm in Delhi. Mark felt that Arian will respect him and will give him time now.
Mark entered through the gates of a pristine-looking shinning glass building where Arian has his office on the 9th floor. As lift gates opened, he saw Arian coming out of the lift. Arian also saw and recognized him. Arian was RUSHING for a meeting and saw Mark as a bottleneck.
The greeting smile on Arian’s face was mechanical and masked his uncomfortable feeling.
Mark sensed this instantly. He said a quick hello to Arian and asked him if he can meet Arian for 10 minutes sometime today or later. Arian gave his number and told him to call him today evening.
Mark called him and Arian smartly said that he is BUSY and will call him back. Mark kept waiting and waiting.
After 2 days of difficulty waiting, Mark sent him a message with no response. Mark went to the park that evening. Watching the sunset, a question filled his heart – why people are busy? Are they really busy?
Mark’s eyes were moist, empty, longing for being accepted, fighting dejection and feeling of hopelessness. He started thinking about his question “Why people are busy”?
As he was contemplating, he was seeing the setting sun. Wisdom crossed his mind that people are not busy. People just don’t want to be available at others' request. If they do so they feel controlled.
Being busy is a manipulation done to hide their insecurity/ fear of being controlled by others. This fear takes birth out of their conditioned mind that if they will make themselves available then they will be taken for granted and will not be valued. This is just an illusion.
The reality is, they will always be respected and feel in power if they make themselves available at others' request with helping them by empowering them so that they are able to help themselves.
Mark thought – when people pray to their respective Gods; their Gods never tell them that they are busy to listen to their prayers. Nature never tells us that she is busy to be with us.
People who say they are busy consider it their right to seek help and support from whomsoever they want but do not feel responsible enough to revert in the same gesture.
These thoughts gave Mark peace and renewed strength. Mark felt gratitude to Arian because Arian by not helping Mark gave him wisdom.
Mark realized that he did not get what he wanted but he got what he needed to carry on in his life. And, it was wisdom.
Mark took deep breaths. He decided not to pursue Arian again and start all over again with freshness in his heart, mind, and body.
We can be reached at email@example.com